Skinny looks best in a latte!

So you start a blog with someone you think you know really well, and she comes out with a brain dump about losing baby weight as her first offering!
That was my first reaction to Emily’s blog. But with a moment’s reflection, I realised that beauty is not always in the eye of the beholder; when Emily looks in the mirror, she obviously doesn’t see what I see.  

When I look at Emily, I see a Mummy who has waited a long time for this role, and whilst waiting she has poured her heart and soul into helping other parents achieve the very best for their children. I see a patient, thoughtful, loving Mummy running a slightly chaotic household where there is always a warm welcome and a freshly baked cake on the table. And when that one has been eaten, there’s another one in the freezer!

She manages that tricky balance of motherhood and businesswoman, but I don’t think her children really know that she works, they feel they are her priority and they know that if they need her, she will be there.

What none of us sees is the spare tyre that Emily agonises about. Apart from a weakness for the above-mentioned skinny latte, she doesn’t have her nose permanently in the fridge. She walks the dog every day, plays with the children, swims with her family at the weekends …

And I imagine that the description above could apply to almost any Mummy reading this blog.  

So what I’d like to suggest is that there are more important things in life. Most women think they could lose a bit of weight – it is a First World problem which, in a way, we could say we are lucky to have. Our perfect body image is imposed on us by society, we take the message on board and beat ourselves up about it.

But if you are lucky enough to have people who love you just the way you are, BE the person who they love. Don’t change.

 

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Post baby weight loss

It’s been 21 months since my son was born. That’s 649 days to be precise, as I sit here writing this. Almost two years since he came crashing into our world. It was a bumpy start for both of us, separated in different special care units. He was due in July but my blood pressure was becoming increasingly unpredictable and difficult to stabilise so after various hospital admissions it was decided to get him out at the end of May. A 4lb bundle of loveliness was delivered. We both battled and eventually came home a few weeks later.

It was far from the idyllic pregnancy and birth that I would have requested had I been able to, but nonetheless it was MY birth of my baby.

So why am I telling you this when the title is about weight loss? Well because I am struggling to lose my baby weight and yet people are still saying to me ‘you’ve just had a baby’, ‘it’s not been that long since you were pregnant’ or ‘you have young children’ and other similar platitudes. When I point out it’s been almost two years since he was born the emotional card is thrown back at me – ‘but you had such a terrible time’, ‘you were both so unwell’, ‘give yourself time to recover’.

So when is it time to lose the baby weight? I’ll warn you now, I don’t have the answer here, but what I am learning is that although every mother is different, weight loss knows no differences. The weight issues that have dogged me all my life are still here. Pregnancy, birth and motherhood haven’t ridden me of them, in fact they seem to have exacerbated them … they are still there. It is my daily battle and my night time demon.

But can I still use the baby weight as an excuse? And for how long? Two years? Three years? Ten years? Forever? Is it right to put my insecurities at the door of my pregnancy, which produced my two incredible, magical, amazing, challenging, perfect and imperfect children?

My mother did that. Unintentionally, but she did and I don’t want to repeat that pattern. It’s all too easy to blame past generations, my challenge is not to try to be the skinny mother I’d so like to be, but to try not to let those age old demons manifest themselves in my children – their freedom from them would be my success, a success not measurable in dress sizes and on scales.

So somehow I need to ditch the excuses and simply move more and eat less.

If only leaving a lifetime of issues behind were that easy….

 

ER

Setting the scene….

B2P logo Web

Welcome to the first of (hopefully) many Born To Parent blogs.

Where do you start? In time, we aim to inform, inspire, question and laugh with you through these blogs, but this one is a scene setter.

What is BTP? In brief, it’s Georgie and Emily but really it’s about a partnership (and friendship) built around a passion for working with parents from conception, through pregnancy, birth and into childhood. With over 35 years of experience in childcare between us, we realised our unique yet complementary training and experiences would give us an exceptional platform to work together and with parents to help them be the best parent they can be.

So let’s introduce ourselves. First, Georgie. I’ve got two children in their teens, I’ve run a company providing sleep solutions to parents of newborns since 2001 and I’ve been teaching about sleep issues to professionals for over 10 years.

Next, Emily. I originally trained as a Montessori teacher, then a midwife, doula (birth and post-natal), baby & toddler swim instructor and an ante-natal teacher. I’ve got two children under five, a bonkers spaniel and a house rabbit.

Hopefully this is the first (and most boring!) of our blogs, but it’s given you a flavor of who we are.

Do follow us on Twitter @borntoparent and feel free to comment on all our musings. You can always contact us via our website too – http://www.borntoparent.co.uk

 

GB&ER